In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
