Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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