I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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