Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
