Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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