me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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