For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
