Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize