He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
