any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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