He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
