Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
