The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize