I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
