big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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