he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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