I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
