I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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