I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
