it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
