Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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