What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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