is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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