i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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