My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
