Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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