Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
