My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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