So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
