Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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