We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
