i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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