Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
