went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
