Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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