yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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