Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
birth control should be required to get into college
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
