coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
