woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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