I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
