How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
