she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
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just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
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I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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