I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
