I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
