Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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