I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
