i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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