I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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