He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
