I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
