Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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