btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
