I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
