He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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