i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize