Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
