is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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