Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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