then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize