I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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