yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
