The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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