I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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